For non-South Africans, the phenomenon of the ‘carguard’ began about ten years ago, when jobs began to get really scarce and the population’s growth showed no signs of abating. In South Africa there is a ‘lost generation’ of largely black men who have had relatively little education and enjoy few prospects. So the carguard is essentially a beggar who offers to guard your car when you park it literally anywhere there isn’t a formal security guard or service. This ‘service’ is open to abuse from opportunistic people who prey on middle-class guilt to elicit a fee for basically doing nothing much at all. A lot of car-guards become invasive and aggressive towards motorists who decline to remunerate them for their services offered. The carguard is a very interesting swab on the cheek of SA society- one with which this sketch has some fun.